SHOW 38: Hemp Hammock, Sea Salt Soak and Beyond / 51min / February 25, 2010

Kris and David bear terrified witness to Bed, Bath and Beyond knockoffs, stratified mind-altering gases, smoothies, ozonated child labor and the world’s tallest man as David undertakes his own exploration.

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MrBildango: You’re at a hippy store.. Are you sure it isn’t an ignoble gas? #tmh

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benhutchingsuk: You can make ozone from photocopiers but the ozone scoopers have got every convinced it’s not as good as the natural stuff #tmh

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cephalopod_gal: Jesus, @malki’s panicked voice makes me laugh and cry at the same time. #tmh

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pyrosim: Kris and David live the most horrifying lives #tmh

SHOW 37: Comprehensive Family Feud / 1hr 6min / February 18, 2010

Kris and David survey the entire planet, throw surprise parties, make enemies of archers, tell long-winded stories of fruitless correspondence, and David’s mom thinks the boys are doing a good job.

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cephalopod_gal The jewels are actually a scrap of paper that say “The jewels were inside you all along.” #tmh

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Kouban I want to see a campground set up as a complex Venn diagram, so you wind up with ridiculously complicated combination camps #tmh

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nebadger I was a fat kid, my fat kid tears helped others sleep at night… it also made cookies taste better #tmh

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robynneblume We had a yardsale when I was a kid and none of my things sold because I’d written the prices on them with sharpie. #tmh

SHOW 36: Painter of Fright / 48min / February 11, 2010

Kris and David uncover the terrifying hidden meaning behind Thomas Kincade paintings, Kris says goodbye to his window-cataloguing project, and David’s mom continues to have opinions about Tweet Me Harder.

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Kouban My cat loves the box #tmh comes in.

MrBildango #tmh comes in an ear box; a solid wax square that you need to melt to get to the product.

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MrBildango If you light a Kincade painting on fire, the front layer burns away and you briefly see the burning people in the house #tmh

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cephalopod_gal In this conversation, “windows” equals “women.” #tmh

Kouban “pulleys” is also a metaphor for “women” #tmh

cephalopod_gal Every noun is a metaphor for women on #tmh

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jplaub As Malki’s mom would say, “Zippo Hurdle Backses” #tmh

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cubewatermelon @tweethard #tmh These conversations are always best when I come in during the middle of them.

SHOW 35: Safety Aliens / 59min / February 4, 2010

Kris and David give each other relaxing workplace massages, chow down on vegetable wax, revolutionize ice cream, praise vagueness in fiction, and David’s mom discovers Tweet Me Harder.

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cephalopod_gal Time for #tmh fanfic! Malki gives Kris a ~platonic~ massage.

Kouban Due to the design of the bottle, when you squeeze it, Kris and David appear to kiss #tmhfanfic #tmh

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thegreenavenger @tweethard The two bottles are filled with two different kinds of oil and when you bond them together it causes a horrible burning sensation

Kouban @thegreenavenger Tragically, #tmh Massage Oil and #tmh Napalm Kit look extremely similar and they refuse to fix this

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cubewatermelon @tweethard #tmh I think Kris has confused Pool with Gymnastics

pyrosim @Kouban That actually sounds like it could be a fantastic sport. You have to do pool and gymnastics simultaneously #tmh

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jplaub Malki just bought tons of ice cream, his freezer died, and now he’s trying to pawn off melted ice cream on an unsuspecting audience #tmh

cephalopod_gal I need to grab a trashcan in case I throw up. Just the idea of “ice cheese” makes me feel gross. #tmh

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pyrosim @tweethard Listening to your technical problems is the reason I come to the live stream instead of the podcast; no worries #tmh

SHOW 34: Horseless Carousel / 59min / January 27, 2010

Kris and David put robots to work, unlock the spelling science behind supplements, bond over a common fear, and Kris talks to David’s mom to determine the veracity of David’s “Bitten Beans” story from TMH31.

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MrBildango Can’t you just grab someone’s hands and just spin around with them? #tmh

robynneblume @MrBildango Sure, if you want one of those dangerous “Back Alley Centrifuges.” #tmh

MrBildango I’m not saying it works every time. It’s a folk remedy. #tmh

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cephalopod_gal I like ghosts. #tmh

Kouban @cephalopod_gal Even thresher ghosts? #tmh

cephalopod_gal @Kouban ESPECIALLY thresher ghosts. #tmh

Kouban @cephalopod_gal Do you have any official Thresher Ghost goods, or just an I <3 Ghosts t-shirt? #tmh

cephalopod_gal @Kouban I have a I <3 Ghosts tattoo on my bottom. #tmh #thisisfalse

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neoeo What about a ghoul driving a Zamboni, and you’re not wearing skates? That’s scarier, because you can’t run away. #tmh

rkarl07 […] an undead zamboni… THE ZOMBONI! #dundunduuuunnn #tmh

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frostyplum the problem with @tweethard is if I break for the bathroom, there is zero chance I will know what’s going on when I come back. #tmh

SHOW 33: Anti-Feng Shui / 40min / January 20, 2010

Kris and David put time in with palindromic years, late-night holiday DJs, psychic energy, snack chip flavor conspiracies and discover a new way to harness the body’s energy.

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gameking218 Look, when a game developer asks that you buy the special brain attachment, you get what is coming to you. #TMH

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neoeo Live pullups yields grunting into the microphone. No thanks. #tmh #tmi

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MrBildango Doritos contains: Cheese; Melted Triangles; Dust #tmh

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gskull Okay guys, don’t tweet *quite* that hard #tmh

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ginbucketfish As a ghost, I am very offended by Kris’s anti-ghost platform #tmh

SHOW 32: The Meat of Human Approval / 54min / January 13, 2010

Kris and David enhance security footage, solve their parking woes, uncover the deadly Flowbee conspiracy and anticipate the Hybrid Man.

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Kouban Death by Flo-Bee is my David Malki #coverband #tmh

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UglyNord @cephalopod_gal Chik-Fil-A is a restaurant? It sounds like some sort of exotic club. #tmh

cephalopod_gal @UglyNord Well, it’s both. When they say Chicken Strips, it’s both a verb and a noun. #tmh

frostyplum @cephalopod_gal chicken stripping? now them’s some hot wings! #tmh

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hugparty I have no idea what you’ve been talking about for the past 20 minutes. #tmh

frostyplum @hugparty I have to agree. the show has lost me several times tonight. #tmh

SHOW 31: U-Boat House / 59min / January 6, 2010

Kris and David eat hot lunch, review junk mail, play with stickers, decide on appropriate hats, sketch criminals, build their ideal houses and assemble a Winnebago armada.

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MrBildango What if your lunch gets stolen after you’ve eaten it, using future technology. Future bullies will teleport the lunch out of you. #tmh

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AdamRB @frostyplum #tmh #bakemeharder needs to happen. That would be an amazing episode.

frostyplum @AdamRB oh crap, a #tmh bakeoff. @malki makes a Sacher torte; @krisstraub just throws brown sugar in a fire.

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MrBildango I’ve always wanted a house that had a room that had a clear floor with a giant clock under it. #tmh

cephalopod_gal @MrBildango That sounds AWESOME! Totally a Boss Battle room. #tmh

SHOW 30: Unicorn Printer / 59min / December 29, 2009

Kris and David explore phone trees, flay people in the name of science, take a stab at speculative living, and answer the question “when is a hobo truly a hobo?”

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SHOW 29: Chemical Pajamas / 55min / December 16, 2009

Kris and David delve into the invention of chemicals, learn why exercise keeps us in shape, uncover secret childhood wishes, and discuss the origins of the most festive time of year: Lightningmas.

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BONUS: THE LOST EPISODE!

SHOW 15: Churro Flute / 1hr 6min / September 24, 2009

Kris and David talk about types of the sun’s energy and their application, plus upscale french fry restaurants, and David seems to suffer from selective amnesia for the duration of this correctly-edited-by-Kris lost episode of Tweet Me Harder.

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Storyline: More from “Kris Messed Up” (TMH15X & TMH16)

SHOW 28: Spiderers / 1hr 10min / December 2, 2009

Kris and David weave clothing with spiders, decide whether to eat food off the floor, blaze trails in the treatment of mental illness, and come face-to-face with the international financial mogul who owns the rights to Tweet Me Harder.

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Storyline: “Emirates Capital” part 8 of 8 (best listened to in-context)

SHOW 27: Party Pup Poundcast / 58min / November 21, 2009

Christopher and DJ Gordon’s Party Pup Poundcast welcomes special human guests Kris and David, who discuss frisbees vs. tennis balls, take over doggy show duties, and invent a new form of rabies.

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Storyline: “Emirates Capital” part 7 of 8 (but can be listened to out-of-context)

SHOW 26: Satellite Phone / 48min / November 17, 2009

Kris and David talk about trailers, the seamy side of advertising, and David receives a few polite guidelines from Emirates Capital Investments. Emirates Capital Investments: Where the hawk strikes, money flows.

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Storyline: “Emirates Capital” part 6 of 8 (best listened to in-context)

SHOW 25: Phone Van / 1hr 11min / November 14, 2009

Kris and David take the stage for the first-ever Tweet Me Harder LIVE in Hollywood, CA, featuring special guests Fake Stan Lee and Real Dave Kellett. The gang fears spiders, reinvents mobile banking, infuses everything with vitamins, chooses their ghost rules, and visits the Voltron family.

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Download the QuickTime video (838 MB)

Storyline: “Emirates Capital” part 5 of 8 (but can be listened to out-of-context)

Photo above by lobraumeister