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SHOW 75: A Receding Horizon of Perfection / 1hr 18min / March 22, 2011

In the series finale of Tweet Me Harder, Kris and David revitalize the -trix suffix for all professions, explain their own fathers’ podcast catastrophes, explain what keeps corpses from floating off into the atmosphere, and finally close the causality loop.

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@JPLC The Docktrix: A cut of the Matrix in which leather is replaced with Dockers. #tmh

@Albedo12 I like those acronyms that have a lowercase letter in them, like “CHiPs”. There’s something apologetic about them. #tmh

@theggerus Hawaii is an island chain. So you’ll need some metal cutters to explore it all. #tmh

@richmagahiz A smart moonshiner should have labelled his jugs with XXXI to gain an edge #tmh

@dtthelegend #tmh do hipsters write “thirty” on their jugs of booze?

@Kouban moonshine jugs were originally used to play Tic-Tac-Toe, but X always won, so it turned into a code. #tmh

@Albedo12 MMM Moonshine was much tastier #tmh

@CSpain_design The most effective tonic to cure a moonshine hangover is anything from a jug labelled “OOO” #tmh

@frostyplum @Albedo12 PPP moonshine generally ended up in a puddle against the wall. #tmh

@Trogluddite @tweethard I suspect the garage fire occurred in an attempt to Podcast by Smoke Signal. Very dangerous #TMH

@sekelsky @tweethard #tmh My dad has boxes and boxes of old records… it must be archives of everyone’s dad’s podcasts.

@Hamiltwan How sure are we that David and Kris are not actually unknowing kidnapping victims? #TMH

@frostyplum @tweethard I don’t think kidnapped men will be as apt to take on sophisticated conversation subjects. #tmh

@rkarl10 @frostyplum “so, how about that space program?” “LET ME OUT OF HERE!” “well, that’s an interesting stance…” #tmh

@ignorant_genius Popular topics for this new podcast: “where are we?”, “please feed us”, “I miss my family”, and “*grows silently*”. #tmh

@CSpain_design They say puberty can occur at different ages for different people, but really it’s just when you’ve had your 9th memorable experience #tmh

@Trogluddite @tweethard Malky … and they even forgot the Bang! #TMH

@latimagic @tweethard David Malky ? is spelled with a questionmark. #tmh

@thisisfalacci whoa @Malki! you’re the original “I Like Turtles” kid #tmh

@CSpain_design The real reason for weighing bodies down is because the government wanted to crack down on gangs of teen corpse-surfers #tmh

@neoeo A tender thought: your loved ones encased in graffiti-strewn highway dividers. #TMH

@jjackunrau @tweethard This is the best podcast to listen to before my grandma’s funeral on Friday. #noonewillwanttohearallmynewfacts #tmh

@kcbanner #tmh This show exists: http://bit.ly/hWLhAq they have 100s of episodes of them microwaving things.

@richmagahiz @malki Dancing is just dodgeball without the ball #tmh

@benedz #tmh tap dance a morse code rap battle

@Trogluddite @tweethard The last episode of TMH coincides well with the end of my court mandated Podcast listenership #TMH

@Hamiltwan As David and Kris stole #tmh from tweeting my heart, so shall Total Muscled Haberdashery take is when tweeting is no longer hard #tmh

@StevenFC #TMH 75, Passed March 22nd, 2011, surrounded by friends and family. It leaves behind two hosts and three webcomics. It will be missed.

@latimagic @tweethard Wait, Tallahassee Memorial Hospital is ending? #tmh

(Full tweet list)

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SHOW 67: Cesium Lick / 1hr 11min / November 2, 2010

Kris and David create a sham conservatory for diseased wild animals, examine the quantum state of stuntmen, find the best seats in the movie theater, decry foreign languages, peer into buildings, and compare notes with Kevin McShane regarding the events of the last few weeks.

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Storyline: “Kris is Gone” Epilogue

@Samanthaa93 I’ve listened to every #TMH ever made, EVER!!! But this is my first live listen, woo! :)

@ShinyJim It turns out it was all a metaphor - the blood was the manager’s saliva. Also, turns out Kris is an autistic dog #tmh

@dtthelegend ok so now its like the bourne identity but with sandwiches! #tmh

@richmagahiz @BigShoesPlease It’s like they’re playing dodgeball with Kris as the ball #tmh

@fauxfrog THROW CHAIRS #tmh

@thisisfalacci But seriously guys every time @malki attempts to make the accordion sound, an angel gets its wings #tmh

@Albedo12 I have a soft spot for cushions, just as they have one for me #tmh

@BigShoesPlease Why x-ray GLASSES? isn’t it time we moved on to x-ray contact lenses? #TMH

@Kouban @BigShoes Please, x-ray contacts are so 80s; we need x-ray LASIK. #tmh

@hugparty after months of not listening, this was a really weird #tmh to come back to

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SHOW 61: Kevin Me Harder / 58min / September 21, 2010

When Kris is late showing up for the show, Kevin McShane steps in to help David out. The upbeat pair wackily discuss doorknobs, gas ovens, and the Internet!

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Storyline: “Kris is Gone” Part 1

@robinbalmer @tweethard #tmh I’ve been cataloging windows in Portland - as I understand it, it takes 98 windows to run a computer.

@Kouban The reason doorknobs still exist is because the ruffian lobby demands an easy source for heavy objects to stuff into sacks. #tmh

@Jvetters #TMH What about the first Matrix movie? Any kid who watches that in ten years is going to wonder why they’re using phone lines.

@Phrawger #tmh Clearly Kris has been abducted by the Japanese Mafia, which Kevin is an agent for

@Phrawger It’s a bunch of Italian guys dressed up like samurai. The pseudo-japanese Mafia. More mafia than Japanese. #tmh

@Jvetters @tweethard Ghost Kris as a co-host next week? I think that could add a real sort of zing to the show! #TMH

@Kouban @Jvetters I wonder if they’d need a condenser mic to solidify him. #tmh

@Kirbysfan #TMH OH MY GOD IT’S THE KRIS BOT DREAMS DO COME TRUE

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