@tweethard says, "Thanks for listening!"

Happy Holidays from Tweet Me Harder

And now, a word on werewolves:

There is no reason to be afraid of werewolves. The common knowledge about them is completely flawed.

The fact is, werewolves are bound by the same rules as certain classic vampires. For example, they cannot murder you unless you invite them into your home. And why would you do this? Only if you are under the influence of a cursed mummy’s cunning lies.

Otherwise, the werewolf’s ploys to confuse you into letting him in are not particularly effective or even comprehensible. An attempt that we have record of, for example, is the tale of a certain werewolf knocking at a door and impersonating a FedEx driver. However, he had no package or signature pad, and also, was a werewolf.

The species can, however, transform into bats – although the werewolf-bat is not winged, is the size of a large dog (or wolf), and greatly resembles a wolf in general. Also, when their blood is analyzed, DNA markers clearly place the werewolf-bat into the “salamander” category for reasons yet to be explicated. Research in this area is hampered by the fact that all scientists who have done research in this area have become werewolf-bat-salamanders themselves and have, as such, been stripped of funding.

Genetic research on werewolves is also hazardous as werewolf DNA is “fanged.” What researchers term “fangs” are oddly-shaped chromosomal markers that contain the hormonal “instruction manual” for biological transformation. These “fangs” are expected to yield the most data from these studies. Werewolf DNA “molars” appear to be used by werewolf DNA for grinding plant matter and roots. Werewolf DNA “canines” are just the regular werewolf DNA.

Aside from naming strands of werewolf DNA, no other research has been completed. In conclusion, werewolves are a vital part of our planet’s ecosystem and one day a werewolf may even be President.*

* Calvin Coolidge was posthumously declared actually a cursed mummy.

Limited TMH Posters now available!

Now available: limited stock of TMH25The Live Show – special edition posters! Did you watch the stream online? Did you download the video or listen to the podcast later? THEN YOU WERE THERE. Commemorate the event with our photo-quality, 12"x18" show posters!

Every poster is signed by both Kris and David and ships immediately upon ordering. Quit yer dallyin’ and click here to order!

TMH LIVE » November 14, 2009 in Hollywood, CA

Tweet Me Harder Live

Join David Malki ! and Kris Straub for the first LIVE on-stage performance of Tweet Me Harder, on November 14, 2009 at 8 PM at The Complex Theatre in Hollywood, CA – with special appearances by Fake Stan Lee and Dave Kellett, friends of Tweet Me Harder (but not each other).

Open to the public, TMH LIVE is free to attend. Come out and show your support! You can also share the event with your friends and RSVP on our Facebook event page.

Note to Antarctic scientists: if sunny Southern California is too far away for you, you can also tune in here on the site to watch a live stream of the show.