And now, a word on werewolves:
There is no reason to be afraid of werewolves. The common knowledge about them is completely flawed.
The fact is, werewolves are bound by the same rules as certain classic vampires. For example, they cannot murder you unless you invite them into your home. And why would you do this? Only if you are under the influence of a cursed mummy’s cunning lies.
Otherwise, the werewolf’s ploys to confuse you into letting him in are not particularly effective or even comprehensible. An attempt that we have record of, for example, is the tale of a certain werewolf knocking at a door and impersonating a FedEx driver. However, he had no package or signature pad, and also, was a werewolf.
The species can, however, transform into bats — although the werewolf-bat is not winged, is the size of a large dog (or wolf), and greatly resembles a wolf in general. Also, when their blood is analyzed, DNA markers clearly place the werewolf-bat into the “salamander” category for reasons yet to be explicated. Research in this area is hampered by the fact that all scientists who have done research in this area have become werewolf-bat-salamanders themselves and have, as such, been stripped of funding.
Genetic research on werewolves is also hazardous as werewolf DNA is “fanged.” What researchers term “fangs” are oddly-shaped chromosomal markers that contain the hormonal “instruction manual” for biological transformation. These “fangs” are expected to yield the most data from these studies. Werewolf DNA “molars” appear to be used by werewolf DNA for grinding plant matter and roots. Werewolf DNA “canines” are just the regular werewolf DNA.
Aside from naming strands of werewolf DNA, no other research has been completed. In conclusion, werewolves are a vital part of our planet’s ecosystem and one day a werewolf may even be President.*
* Calvin Coolidge was posthumously declared actually a cursed mummy.
