@tweethard says, "Thanks for listening!"

SHOW 70: Why Are You So Problem / 1hr 2min / November 23, 2010

Kris and David compare products to their marketing, make everything out of potatoes, and in Ask Me Harder, determine the best joint for macaroni, probe the sleep of the genders, and isolate the Dorito spice.

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@robynneblume Malki and Straub have different wavelengths, so they resolve in different places when viewed through a prism. #tmh

@JessePB @robynneblume Hair redshifts in a prism so the goatee streaks across Malki’s face forming a beard. #tmh

@Bradleybugman Cats are always plotting something nefarious. They are extremely poor at following through with lofty plans, though #becausetheyarecats #tmh

@Kouban @Bradleybugman Whenever a cat kills someone, they take great pains to make it look like an accident. #tmh

@richmagahiz Potatoes have to spend six months underground because they offended the god of the underworld #tmh

@Paulius1981 @richmagahiz They tried tetris shaped macaroni, but part of it vanishes when put in the bowl #tmh

@richmagahiz For bland diets, sprinkle your food with Nullspice #tmh

@Bradleybugman Cinémon: Gotta spice em all. #tmh #seasonalprogramming

@TweetingMyHeart I know you don’t love me. But it’s not like I can control how I feel. #TMH

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SHOW 55: An Appreciation of Tubes / 55min / August 4, 2010

Kris and David expand their tube-delivery business, get vaccinated against health, give an infant the 55-year-old arms of a murderer, and David quests after a free haircut.

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More on the gallery show discussed in the episode: here and here

@cSpain_Design Can’t spell Grievous Bodily Harm without Arm! #tmh

@cSpain_Design Always make sure you get injected with a vaccINE, not a vaccUUM. The latter will cause more problems than it prevents #tmh

@cephalopod_gal I think Kris just wanted an excuse to show the nurse his butt. That’s the only reason why he didn’t want it in his arm. #tmh

@frostyplum @cephalopod_gal I knew there were benefits to being a nurse. #tmh

@acrazyburd Unit of oddness: lolwuts #tmh

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SHOW 52: A Carrier For Handsomeness / 49min / July 7, 2010

Kris and David unearth the history of modern card games, analyze David’s obsession with frugality, and discover the truth behind the male-pattern butt-chin.

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@robynneblume One of my favorite card game experiences was when everyone in my Latin class was playing Class Struggle together, using three decks. #tmh

@Nateman @robynneblume is that the one where the losers riot and the winners get to spend the next 10 years paying no tax? #tmh

@medscholaradaml The problem with house rules is that they changed from house to house. In mansions you got a pheasant, in a shack you just get shot #tmh

@MrBildango The great pyramid is just a house of cards. Thick, massive block sized cards. #tmh

@cephalopod_gal I live off of leftovers. I don’t ever even make the original meal. Leftovers just appear in little tupperware containers in my fridge. #tmh

@cSpain_Design Make your own sleeping pills: place regular pills under your pillow at night, they will absorb the sleepiness, storing it for later! #tmh

@robynneblume @cSpain_Design Sounds like we could market this to homeopathy people. We just sell them “blank” pills, rake in the profits. #tmh

@cSpain_Design @robynneblume I think we could probably even get away with just writing the word ‘pill’ on some breathmints #tmh

@g33ksq33k #tmh A little known fact about Kris Straub is he doesn’t have a chin. Beneath his beard, there is another Kris Straub, ad infinitum.

@cSpain_Design @g33ksq33k Medically his condition is known as ‘Chinfinity’ #tmh #sciencefacts

@phogan A butt chin is just a vertical double chin #tmh

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SHOW 43: Corndog Paninis / 43min / April 17, 2010

Kris and David address an audience of themselves at TMH Live Chicago, broadcasting from the lovely Sheraton Hotel. The lads roll with punches, hold a trivia contest, and in Ask Me Harder, explain all about Chicago politics, electricity, and the old-time pillow-gifting custom.

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Kouban Ideally, a hotel room should be completely filled with pillows so you can swim through them to your bed, which is an enormous pillow. #tmh


Tyk_Tok @tweethard “embroider the pillow, or sleep with the fishes.”



Kouban @gameking218 His stat block states that @krisstraub gives double Combat Advantage to any Malki flanking him. #tmh #dnd #imanerd


ProphetEKA @tweethard It’s Bean great, guys. I have Bean entertained. Bean. #tmh #bean

SHOW 33: Anti-Feng Shui / 40min / January 20, 2010

Kris and David put time in with palindromic years, late-night holiday DJs, psychic energy, snack chip flavor conspiracies and discover a new way to harness the body’s energy.

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gameking218 Look, when a game developer asks that you buy the special brain attachment, you get what is coming to you. #TMH

neoeo Live pullups yields grunting into the microphone. No thanks. #tmh #tmi

MrBildango Doritos contains: Cheese; Melted Triangles; Dust #tmh

gskull Okay guys, don’t tweet *quite* that hard #tmh

ginbucketfish As a ghost, I am very offended by Kris’s anti-ghost platform #tmh

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SHOW 32: The Meat of Human Approval / 54min / January 13, 2010

Kris and David enhance security footage, solve their parking woes, uncover the deadly Flowbee conspiracy and anticipate the Hybrid Man.

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Kouban Death by Flo-Bee is my David Malki #coverband #tmh

UglyNord @cephalopod_gal Chik-Fil-A is a restaurant? It sounds like some sort of exotic club. #tmh

cephalopod_gal @UglyNord Well, it’s both. When they say Chicken Strips, it’s both a verb and a noun. #tmh

frostyplum @cephalopod_gal chicken stripping? now them’s some hot wings! #tmh

hugparty I have no idea what you’ve been talking about for the past 20 minutes. #tmh

frostyplum @hugparty I have to agree. the show has lost me several times tonight. #tmh

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SHOW 29: Chemical Pajamas / 55min / December 16, 2009

Kris and David delve into the invention of chemicals, learn why exercise keeps us in shape, uncover secret childhood wishes, and discuss the origins of the most festive time of year: Lightningmas.

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SHOW 28: Spiderers / 1hr 10min / December 2, 2009

Kris and David weave clothing with spiders, decide whether to eat food off the floor, blaze trails in the treatment of mental illness, and come face-to-face with the international financial mogul who owns the rights to Tweet Me Harder.

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Storyline: “Emirates Capital” part 8 of 8 (best listened to in-context)

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SHOW 25: Phone Van / 1hr 11min / November 14, 2009

Kris and David take the stage for the first-ever Tweet Me Harder LIVE in Hollywood, CA, featuring special guests Fake Stan Lee and Real Dave Kellett. The gang fears spiders, reinvents mobile banking, infuses everything with vitamins, chooses their ghost rules, and visits the Voltron family.

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Download the QuickTime video (838 MB)

Storyline: “Emirates Capital” part 5 of 8 (but can be listened to out-of-context)

Photo above by lobraumeister

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SHOW 24: Trunk Brake / 52min / November 12, 2009

Kris and David gain a deeper understanding of Kris’ internal organs, explore the evolution of dancing, and come to grips with the finer points of sponsorship and contract law. Brought to you by Emirates Capital Investments.

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Storyline: “Emirates Capital” part 4 of 8 (best listened to in-context)

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SHOW 23: Obsidian Lawn Service / 55min / November 9, 2009

Kris and David discuss the importance of an attractive coat, reinvent the lawn-care industry, bequeath their foolproof method for handling stress, and unveil the Tweet Me Harder Premium Exclusive Diamond Club.

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Storyline: “Emirates Capital” part 3 of 8 (but can be listened to out-of-context)

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SHOW 21: Eggnog Code Red / 57 min / November 3, 2009

Kris and David debate Care Bear typecasting, thoroughly answer a listener’s call about how to deal with self-righteous genies, die on Facebook and solve mysteries in the far future.

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Storyline: “Emirates Capital” part 1 of 8 (but can be listened to out-of-context)

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